Belle’s OT Corner
Belle’s OT Corner
Regulation in Early Years Ep 6: Regulation and Persistence
Discover how to use regulation to support a child's persistence to tricky activities! In this week's episode you'll gain insights into maintaining calm and teaching resilience to young children, turning challenges into growth opportunities.
Wed discuss how to recognize and support stressors that affect task execution, and how assuming competence and breaking down tasks can lead to successful learning experiences. Proactive regulation strategies, such as validating and anticipating challenges, are highlighted to help develop resilience and independence in children.
As the holiday season approaches, stay tuned for tips and strategies tailored for children with additional needs, ensuring an enjoyable and minimal stress experience for everyone. Join us for this essential conversation and prepare for a joyful holiday season!
Hello everyone, welcome back to Belle's OT Corner. I hope everyone's hanging in there. It's the end of the year. I know if you're in Australia you're looking at ending up the school year and there's so many social plans, there's presents to buy, there's things to organize. This time of year can be so busy. If you're in England, we're almost at the end of school term. Again, same stresses. We've got so many social events going on. Kids have school plays, there's all the wrapping up of term or wrapping up of the school year.
Speaker 1:It can be a really, really busy and really, really hectic time. So please, please, please, try to take those times to be kind to yourself, be calm or have moments to try and have some calm moments, but, most importantly, be nice and kind to yourself at these times. This is not the time to be trying to do everything. If we can just get those key bits done, we're winning. Use all those regulation skills that we've been talking about. Time to be trying to do everything. If we can just get those key bits done, we're winning. Use all those regulation skills that we've been talking about. It's so easy to talk about them and actually at work the other day we were reflecting about this. It's so easy to talk about regulation and we can talk about regulation and talk about regulation and then doing it for ourselves is so hard. I can help regulate a child most days. Some days it's not my day, but most days I can in some way be what that child needs and support that child or support that parent or even support a co-worker through the challenge. But if I have to try and regulate myself, oh, this time of year it is so, so much harder. So just bear that in mind. You're all doing a fantastic job. So just be nice and kind to yourself and really start to think about what are some of those things that we can let go. What are some new year's problems they don't need to be done now. What can we just kind of leave for the new year and we can pick it up then?
Speaker 1:But this is actually our last episode in our regulation skills for early years season. It's come around quick again and I cannot believe the podcast has been around for just almost a year, which is crazy. I got a little message from the subscription place that I use for my podcast, being like it's coming up to a year. Here's your year and look back on your year. It is amazing and thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for your continued support. But, yes, ending out season three at the end of the year, so looking at the end of our regulation in early year season regulation in early years season.
Speaker 1:So the last bit that I wanted to touch on within this season is looking at regulation and persistence, and so we'll talk about what persistence is, but the role that we have, that regulation has, in supporting and allowing that persistence, particularly if we're thinking about persistence to and persistence through some challenging activities. So things that we know that are going to be difficult, things that we know are going to be frustrating, things that we know are going to get our brain to work really hard, and how can we use some of these regulation skills that we've talked about over this season to support that persistence to those challenging activities? Because, unfortunately, we all have to do things that we don't want to do. We all have to do things that are going to challenge us. It's where we grow, it's where we learn more, and the more that we can wrap play in, the easier those challenges get. But we're still going to be tricky. Play is tricky. A number of times I've worked with parents and we have to relearn how to play, because, as adults, we forget how to play, and play is tricky. It's great, it's fun, but it's tricky and it's annoying and it's frustrating. And so this idea of being able to persist through a challenge becomes so important for our little kids and our little learners. So that is what we're going to round out the season with today and what we're going to be talking about.
Speaker 1:So what is a challenging task? If we think about it, what I find a challenging task is going to be different to what my friends find as a challenging task. It's going to be different to what a child finds as a challenging task. It's going to be different. What the next child finds as a challenging task is going to be different. What's the next child finds as a challenging task?
Speaker 1:We are all very individual, very unique, and a challenging task is something that I have to work hard to do. I have to really think about. Or it's challenging because of other factors that I cannot control. So maybe it's challenging because of the noise in the room, so that sensory environment. Maybe it's challenging because of the social demands. Maybe it's challenging because of the noise in the room, so that sensory environment. Maybe it's challenging because of the social demands. Maybe it's challenging because of the cognitive demands. Maybe it's challenging to keep myself focused because I'm hungry and I've got those biological demands going on. Whatever the challenge is, there is something that I'm having to actively work towards or work against to overcome, to be able to keep going with the task that I've got.
Speaker 1:Now, when we talk about challenging tasks, this could be anything and it very much changes as we grow. So for a baby, a challenging task is I'm hungry. For a baby, a challenging task is I'm hungry, so I'm going too fast until I get fed. For a toddler, a challenging task could be I'm learning how to feed myself and I want to be independent, but it's really tricky and I keep making a mess and I keep on missing my face. Or I really want to be able to pull this sock off, but it really doesn't want to come off as we get a bit older. Then maybe it's play. That's frustrating. I really want to stack these blocks, but they're not working. Maybe it's bath time that's challenging. Maybe it's calming down to sleep that's challenging. It can be anything within the day where there are that mismatch between where my skills are where my skills are growing and what's that environment around me as well.
Speaker 1:So when we think about looking at persistence and persistence is our ability to kind of keep going and keep trying so I've been confronted with a challenge and either I'm going to keep trying and doing the same thing and eventually I'm going to get frustrated that it didn't work, or I'm going to keep trying and maybe I'll try something different, and maybe I'll try something different. I want you to imagine a little toddler that is learning to maybe put their shoes on, and the first time they do it they might put the shoe on just the toe, but they didn't push it on far enough and so it falls off. And then they might pick up the shoe and look at it and maybe they put it on their toe again, but they put their foot at a slightly different angle, but it still falls off. And they can keep going with this for a very long time, particularly if mum or dad are there being like, oh, almost, oh, it didn't work, oh, I'm just gonna sit here and be quiet and watch and yeah, that's it. Keep going and giving that encouragement. But it's that idea that I'm gonna keep trying at something we will.
Speaker 1:It is one part of what we call our executive functioning skills, and I will have a whole season on executive functioning skills, hopefully early to mid next year, if yeah, um. So I don't want to go too deep into persistence today, but I just want you to have that idea of necessity that I'm going to keep going and keep trying, and the breakdown can be when I can't think of that new way to do something and that's when we might have to step in, because that's when it can get really frustrating and that's when our regulation skills can start to become a little bit wobbly. But the focus for today is okay. So how can we use our regulation skills to support persistence? Because if our regulation skills aren't there or I'm a bit stressed and so I can't access them, then what we can see is my capacity to keep trying will fall out the window. It'll disappear Because there's just so much else that I'm having to think. Trying will fall out the window. It'll disappear because there's just so much else that I'm having to think about and having to focus on.
Speaker 1:So when we want to be looking at this side, we're still going to be using our co-regulation skills we talked about, but today's episode is going to focus a little bit more on those kind of proactive regulation strategies that we can use to help someone through a challenge, and we touched on a couple of them last episode and so there might be a little bit of repetition. But I really want you to think about the one. What we're talking about today around this idea of, okay, how can we use our regulation to set up for success so that I've got a little bit more before I'm going to hit that challenge, so that when I hit that challenge I can kind of come down a bit but I can keep going, and then, okay, if I start to get too frustrated, what can I do in that moment to help me keep going as well? So this is that idea of some of those proactive strategies and what we would call those reactive strategies Now within early years. Our proactive strategies there's lots that we can do and we can work towards, but they're going to be guided by adults, but we're going to work towards the kids maybe helping us with some of the proactive strategies, the reactive strategies, in their minute.
Speaker 1:As I've said many, many times in this season, I do not expect a child to be able to notice all of their reactive strategies. Oh, sorry, notice when they're getting a little bit frustrated or when they're getting really frustrated, particularly in their early years. That is when adults step in and we help and we guide and we do that shared problem solving. We use all of our lovely co-regulation strategies to help through that. But, my lovely little but they can start to help with our proactive strategies. And so these are what are we doing before the challenge.
Speaker 1:And so mom or dad or teacher or aunt, uncle, whoever the adult is with this child, grandma, granddad has done the thinking around or they know the child really well. You guys know your kids so well to know what's tricky for them. And you've gone okay, I know this is going to be tricky, so let's put something in place now, before we start the activity, and let's think about how we're going to help this child to keep going through this activity so they can start to build some of their independence and build some of their confidence, because that's what we want, right? I mean, it's always such a win when we see that independence growing. There is a part of me that goes oh, you needed so much help and now you can do it all. But that's what we want. We want them to be able to do it all as much as they can by themselves as well. So, proactive strategies Now we will jump into proactive strategies in a minute, but I just want to pause for a second and talk quickly about some of that thinking that we do beforehand.
Speaker 1:So we've talked about what a challenging task is and how we can identify that, and I touched on it very briefly around what can be a challenging task in the sense that it isn't always the task itself, and so I just want to take two seconds to really emphasize this, because this underpins a lot of where and how you're going to be using the strategies. So I want you to think back to regulation. At its core is our capacity to manage stress throughout the day, to keep going through and be able to do everything that I want to do. Now that might be through co-regulation at times and eventually building to elements of self-regulation, but it's this idea of how can I notice what my body needs, respond to the stresses in my world so that I can keep doing what I want. So when we think about stresses, remember this could be everything from environmental stresses so things like busy places, loud rooms, maybe the space is too quiet. Temperature of the room it could be cognitive stresses.
Speaker 1:So how much is my brain having to work to do this activity? Is it actually achievable for me to do all of this by myself, or do I need some supports, like maybe a visual schedule, or maybe I need a timer so that I don't have to think about time within this one, thinking about what some of those cognitive supports there might be. Cognitive stresses there could be some of those like biological stresses. I could be hungry and so I can't focus. My brain could be done for the day it's cognitive again but my brain could be done for today and I don't know if you guys have ever felt it. It's a bit of both.
Speaker 1:But when your brain just hurts and it's just turning off and it's just done, I can't do anything, and I know myself well enough to know that when that happens I've got to step away. It's just not worth it. I could try and keep going, but I won't be as productive. I'll get frustrated more easily. I'll end up feeling really grumpy and really down that I didn't take anything off my to-do list, whereas if I just step away and go, this is not a job for now. I'll come back to it later.
Speaker 1:So we always want to be thinking about what some of these stresses might be and where. Which part of this activity is challenging, and this is what OTs are really great at. So if you have any particular concerns about your child, please, please, please do speak to their occupational therapist or seek support from an occupational therapist, but this just gives you an idea of some of the things that we could be thinking about as well. The other one that can play a really, really big part is our social stresses as well. Navigating a social situation are there lots of people? Are there a couple people? Is someone crying? Is someone upset, is someone really, really excited, and I don't know what to do with that feeling. All of these can be impacting upon our capacity to then interact with the task. So what do we do? As always, I tend to lay it out with this could happen, this could happen, this could be a challenge. Now what? So? Let's talk about what we're going to do.
Speaker 1:Number number number one, and I was having some really lovely chats this week about this With all of our children. We want to and this could be your own kids, this could be family friends, this could be kids in your class. If you're a teacher, if you're a therapist, listening along, this could be kids that you work with. We want to make sure that we're assuming competence, assuming that they can do it. Might need some help, might need some tweaks, might need some supports, but they can do it and it's our job to make it the just right challenge so they can do it. It's not that it's all too hard and they can't do any of it. They can do it with the right supports in place.
Speaker 1:And it's really important when we work with kids that we are always assuming competence, because you'll be blown away how much they surprise you. You know, I've seen kids that I thought couldn't, you know, weren't quite ready to use cutlery, and then I turn around and they're feeding themselves and I went. Well, I judged that one wrong because I didn't assume competence happens all the time with dressing, happens all the time in school with like scissor skills, handwriting. If we can assume competence, look at where the breakdowns are and therefore, how can we support those breakdowns. It puts us in a much better place than assuming the child can't do it or they can with the right supports so they can't do any part of it they can, but where's the challenge? Which part of the task is challenging, or which part of the environment and all those other factors that we just talked about is challenging? So that's our biggest strategy.
Speaker 1:Number one is always, always. We want to be assuming competence and assume that they can, because 99, 99 times out of 100 they'll surprise you. Actually, no, all the time I take it back, all the time they'll surprise you. So then, when we think about regulation within the mix of this idea of persistence, so then when we think about regulation within the mix of this idea of persistence, we want to be doing some of those proactive strategies. Initially, because those reactive strategies we've talked about a lot and so jump back into earlier episodes this season, particularly our co-regulation episode and particularly our what is regulation episode as well, because that's going to give you the insight for those, in the moment, reactive strategies. But today I really want to focus on those kind of proactive strategies that we can be doing. I think we'll do four, five, we'll see how we go, maybe six we'll see.
Speaker 1:Number one and this one is so powerful with kids that we work with is validating and pre-empting that challenge. So, as much as possible, sometimes all it needs is to go. This is tricky, this is hard. I'm here, we're going to figure this out, but this is tricky and you'll be blown away by how many times they just might go. Oh okay, I can't try again because someone has validated and told me that this is hard. What I'm doing is challenging. It can be really powerful in dressing as you're looking at, dressing independence in those early years. It's going to be a bit tricky, but we've got this. Oh, you got stuck. That was hard, that was tough. Let's figure it out.
Speaker 1:And just that validation that what they're doing is hard for them and for their brains where they're at. It's so easy as adults to forget just how much their brains are doing and just how much they're learning and just how much they're growing day on day on day. I mean you blink and you miss it. Just how much they're growing day on day on day. I mean you blink and you miss it. And part of that is they're doing tricky things so much all day, whereas if I have to do tricky things, I'll spread them out through my day as much as I can. They don't necessarily have that choice. So validating that it's tricky is incredibly powerful.
Speaker 1:And how you're going to be able to validate that it's tricky is by pre-empting the activity or pre-empting the challenge. So, again, you guys are the experts in your kids, in the kids in your class, your own children. You know what they're absolutely amazing at and that's not tricky for them anymore, and you know the things that are challenging for them. And so being able to look at those times of day, whatever those activities are, and know that, okay, this is going to be tricky, I'm going to assume that they can do it, but I'm going to be here to validate that it's hard and then I'm going to step in when they need me but I'm going to really encourage them to go. Yeah, that's really tricky, like jumping a couple of years ahead, but like homework is a great example of this, that's really hard homework. You know, sometimes that's enough Just acknowledging that, yeah, your brain's worked hard all day. You've come home, you've got homework, your brain's tired and that's hard homework. It's going to make your brain work hard too.
Speaker 1:What you can kind of step on from here comes into our strategy number two, where we can start to create a plan together now. This obviously varies across the early years and gets more complex as we move into older years as well, but you can still do it on a very basic level with early years kids. You can still go along the lines of, oh, okay, we're gonna. I mean, dressing's a really easy one, so I keep on going back to it. But let's say we're doing trousers and you know, last time they got really frustrated pulling up their trousers or pulling up their pants if you're in australia, um. And so this time you might say, okay, we're gonna do it. It's tricky, so we're gonna have to make sure we keep holding and we pull really, really, really hard until you're standing. Now all I've done is made a plan, told them what the steps are, helped them through how we're gonna do it, told them what their body had to do, and then I can just step back and then, if they, you know, pull them up halfway. Oh, that was really hard. You got them all the way to your knees. Let's see if we can keep pulling all the way up, and then I might just do the tiniest little tug where they can't see me, to allow for that success, or I might not, if they're really determined and they want to try again.
Speaker 1:It's that idea of creating a plan for how we're going to do this tricky thing. You can do the same around waiting. Oh, I love waiting challenges because waiting is hard. No one likes to wait. But okay, we're going to have to wait. It's going to be a bit tricky because you're really hungry. So when we're waiting, why don't you tell me something? Or why don't we count to 10? Why don't we spin around in the circles? Why don't you be a helper and take this out, because that will help us keep busy while we're waiting? Why don't you see how many things you can see? Why don't you tell me what you can see?
Speaker 1:If we're waiting on the street, let's give ourselves something to do. Let's make a plan to help us through waiting. Give ourselves something to do. Let's make a plan to help us through waiting. Or if you're in the classroom, and let's say again waiting, because it's a really nice one. All right, guys, it's. We've got two minutes before we can go outside, so we've got two minutes that we need to wait.
Speaker 1:I know everyone's really excited. Let's take our time. Let's line up nice and slowly. Let's tuck our chairs under the table. Let's make that plan really explicit. Instead, instead of everyone, go and line up because the kids in your class that really struggle with waiting they'll go and line up and then they'll get really, really frustrated because it's not happening. I did that, I finished that job. Now what? Or it might be and again, this is starting to get a little bit more into those older years but we're're waiting. So you're going to have to tell your brain it's okay, we're just going to count, we're just going to wait, and then this is what's happening next and I know that's going to happen, because this is when it's going to happen. When it's two minutes is done, when the teacher comes back, what's that tangible thing that I'm looking out for? To tell me that I'm ready to move on to the next thing.
Speaker 1:Making those plans makes it easier, because what they do, if we think about stresses, is they help to decrease that cognitive load. I know what's coming and I can focus instead on all the other bits of this activity that are challenging, because that cognition, that cognitive load side of it, is at least a little bit less because I've had those bits of support. I have my plan. Now it could be that you say the same plan every time you do the activity. It could be, as you get older, that you're in. But now, last time we did this, this bit didn't work. So today, why don't we try something different? Like you could help build some of those problem solving skills, but you don't have to.
Speaker 1:Particularly when we're looking about the regulation side of it is, if we know it's going to be really, really tricky, we just want to be there to support so they can manage those emotions, manage that frustration, manage all of those feelings through the activity to allow for that success, to allow for that confidence to grow and all of those really good things. Now, speaking about those feelings in particular, strategy number three that we're going to get into is looking at doing those check-ins with our body, check-ins with our regulation. Now, that's what we know we're doing. We're not going to tell the child, oh, let's check in with your regulation, because they're going to look at you like, uh-huh, what? Let's check in with our body. Are we ready to do this tricky thing? Is your body ready? Did you get all your wiggles out? Is your body ready to sit still? Is your brain ready, because this is going to be really tricky? Or should we jump and help our brain wake up a little bit? Do some star jumps. Are your hands ready? Because we're going to have to keep pulling and use our muscles for a long time.
Speaker 1:Whatever the activity is that we're doing, let's just check in with our body. Is it ready? And we don't have to sit there and do the really deep. What are you feeling? How are you feeling? Because a lot of the time the kids will go. I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm still learning what these feelings are and what they all mean.
Speaker 1:And if you think back to our interception episode, or jump back and have a listen to our interception episode, where it talks about how we need to put together all these sensations and feelings in my body before I can label an emotion, so I don't know how I'm feeling. But if we instead go all right, we're going to do a big running race. Is your body ready to run from here all the way over there? No, it's so tired, okay. Well, let's wake it up. Let's do some tickles. Or if you're getting dressed, are you ready to get dressed? Is your body ready? We're gonna push and pull and jump. Oh, so sleepy this morning. Should we have a big hug and just squeeze and maybe some tickles help that body wake back up so that we can then be okay, now I'm ready, let's do it, let's get dressed.
Speaker 1:Doing these little body check-ins can be really powerful A because it helps the child start to notice. B it gives you time to have a bit of a look-see and see if we're going to be able to really push this today or if they're going to need maybe a little bit more support, because we all have our good days and we all have our tricky days, and maybe, if they go, oh, I just can't get my body moving. Well then, the regulations support that we're going to use to help that persistence is you're going to do more of it that day, and that's okay. We all have different days that we feel like where we have are absolutely on top of everything, like absolutely smashing it, and days where you're just getting out of bed is a challenge we do, particularly in winter. For those of you that are in the UK or Europe at the moment, this winter is brutal, and so getting out of bed in the mornings I'm like I don't want to go to the gym, I want to stay in bed, and so as adults, we have all these different days and it's really important to acknowledge that with our kids as well, and they won't always show it to us. So getting them to just do a little bit is your body ready, are you ready can be a really powerful way to help to start to do some of these things as well, can also be really helpful in the classroom as well. If you can use little body checks to help you then figure out. Okay, this is when we need a movement break and I'm responding to what these kids need instead of having it as like a scheduled thing throughout the day and for a bit more information on that, jump back into our sensory processing and what is sensory season, particularly around some of the proprioception. What is sensory processing, the proprioception and the vestibular episodes, in particular around the why behind why we're doing some of those movement breaks.
Speaker 1:And this really nicely brings me into my next point, which is point number four, and this is really when we're looking at supporting regulation to allow for persistence. We need to be making sure we're using our co-regulation strategies and building these in all day, every day, throughout the day that we're looking at, making sure we're being mindful of where those stresses are and using ourselves to help keep our regulation supported throughout the day. And when I say our regulation, I mean ours as adults, and also that of the child or the children in your class, if that's the case and looking at making sure that we're responding to and catching those little moments which means we're doing things throughout the day that are going to help us come everything back down, or we're going to help them do those things that everyone's really sleepy and tired, so let's bring us all back up and we're using all of those co-regulation strategies we've talked about in earlier episodes to make sure we're modeling that for the kids and we're helping them kind of persist through some of these things as well, because, really, you are the best tool as the adult, you are the best tool to support regulation in your kids, and so it's not that we can just do all these proactive and everything else. No, that's fine, don't need to do that anymore. No, it'd be nice but no, really important that we embed using all of our lovely co-regulation strategies throughout the entire day so that when we then put those proactive strategies in place, the kids are at a point where they're ready to take that on as well.
Speaker 1:So, overall, when we look at regulation and persistence to challenging tasks, we want to be looking at the task itself, where the stresses are or where the challenges are. Where is the bits where we might need some support? What's the capacity of this child in the moment? You know, has it been one of those really long days where everyone's just exhausted and so the child doesn't have anything left? But also, what's our capacity? Is my brain still thinking about the 15 jobs that I haven't done today, that I told myself I would do, and so I actually try to take on? This particular tricky activity is going to tip me over the edge, and therefore I'm not going to be a very good co-regulator as well.
Speaker 1:So, always in the back of your mind when you're looking at these things, make sure you're considering your own regulation, your own capacity, as well as that of your child. And it is the hardest bit to do, guys. I promise you it's not easy. But what I have found is when you start to kind of step back and think about okay, well, where are we at? What are some of those tricky bits? Let's put some of those proactive strategies in, you start to notice a lot more about yourself too, and so some of those self-reg strategies for us gets a lot easier as well, well, almost bang on half an hour. That brings us to the end of our regulation in early year season.
Speaker 1:If you guys have any questions, as always, please, please, please, do send me a message on Instagram. You might have seen the instas having a bit of a revamp at the moment, so hopefully bringing you guys some more helpful strategies and tools in a different and also accessible format, as always as well, please do share the podcast with anyone that you think it might be helpful for anyone that you think might be interested. You guys are amazing and you really do help me get this podcast out there to those that need it, so please keep going. Otherwise, guys, have a lovely week.
Speaker 1:I will be doing one more episode before Christmas on some just tips, strategies, things to think about as we move into the Christmas and holiday season, just around, what we can think about to make sure we're supporting our kids through that season, particularly any of your kids that might have additional needs or diagnoses around. What are some of the things that we can do to make it a really, really enjoyable season for all and try and decrease those stresses as much as possible. So that should come out later this week. We're're going to have two this week and then I will see you guys in the new year. So have a lovely Christmas, have a great new year and or Christmas, or whatever your holiday celebrations are Enjoy the new year and I'll see you guys in Jan. Bye guys, thank you.