Belle’s OT Corner
Belle’s OT Corner
Regulation in Early Years Ep 3: Behaviour from a OT Lens
Ever wondered what your child's challenging behavior is truly communicating? Join me in Belle's OT Corner as we unpack the secrets behind the actions of young children through the unique perspective of occupational therapy. By understanding the intricacies of the tasks children face, the environments they navigate, and the social dynamics around them, you'll be equipped with insights to better support their emotional development.
We delve into the importance of autonomy and resilience, contrasting the experiences of a year three child and a determined kindergartner. We emphasize the power of therapeutic play sessions, where children learn to manage emotions and frustrations, building confidence through the art of persistence. Discover how modeling problem-solving and emotional regulation in everyday tasks can foster independence and cultivate a sense of achievement in young learners.
Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we'll delve deeper into these themes, and until then, we hope you have a great week!
Hello everyone and welcome back to Bell's OT Corner. We are jumping into episode 3 of our Regulation in Early Years season today, and today's episode is going to be all about behavior from an OT lens. So I have cannot count the number of referrals that I've seen or parents that come to me and one of their main concerns is their child's behavior Either challenging behaviors or behaviors that challenge or some of their concerns are around the severity of the behaviours or the types of behaviours the kids are engaging in, and they just want help in terms of how do we help manage this behaviour, how do we support the young child as they're going through whatever it might be that they're feeling. Now there's lots of different professionals that can support with behaviour and I'm not saying that OTs are the go-to, be-all and end-all, but I wanted to do this episode to show what we look at when we look at behavior, how we see it from an OT lens and some of the things that you can start to think about in the back of your mind when you start to see your child or a child in your class that might be having some difficulties in their day, and how we can break down the why behind why that's happening and also how we can then support that child through whatever it is that they're finding tricky, that might be causing or stressing that child, leading to some of these behaviors that we see Now before we dig into this, of these behaviors that we see Now before we dig into this.
Speaker 1:So often when we talk about behavior, it's talked about in a negative way. Behaviors are something that are bad, something that we don't want to happen. But when you actually go and look at the definition of behavior and I did this when I was planning this episode it's just what we do. It is not actually a good or bad thing. A behaviour is hang on, let me find the definition really quickly, because so often we associate it with a negative but behaviour is simply the way in which we conduct ourselves, especially towards others. That could be good behaviour, or things that might be seen as socially acceptable, or what we would expect someone to do, and what can typically be labelled as that bad behaviour is something that might be challenging or unexpected and so something that the adults in this child's life might find difficult to understand and difficult to support the child through Now, through this episode today, and as you start to look at behaviour from now on. I really want to challenge you and encourage you to think about, instead of behaviour as being good or bad. We want to move away from that and instead we want to think about behavior as a form of communication.
Speaker 1:All behaviors is a child trying to communicate something with us, and typically a form of communication when the other communication attempts have been unsuccessful or they haven't been able to access those communication styles for various reasons Maybe they are too overwhelmed, maybe they can't think anymore, maybe their sensory environment for them is just too much. That to then try and figure out what the words are for how I'm feeling on top of that is too much, and so the faster ways to show you how I'm feeling and what those can typically look like would be a behavior. So we really want to come back to this idea throughout this whole episode and, as I said, as you start to curiously look at the kids in your lives is what are they trying to tell me? What is the communication here? What am I missing? That's then leading to this big emotion and this big challenge for this child. What is it that? What are all the building blocks? Where's it gotten a little wobbly and where's it ultimately fallen down? Because once we can figure out this, we then know well, okay. So how can we support? What change do we need to put in place to be able to help this child to be more successful, to be more independent and to persist through that challenge? So number one takeaway behavior is a form of communication, all behavior is a form of communication and it's our jobs as the adults. We get to play detective, we get to put on our little Sherlock Holmes hat and try and figure out. Okay. So what are they trying to tell me here? What have I missed? Because I promise you, even if we didn't realise it, they've given us clues. Sometimes they can be really hard to find clues, sometimes they're not the easiest to find, but they will be there when we start to know what we're looking for and start to know what we're trying to unpack.
Speaker 1:So, as an OT, when I think of behavior, some of the questions that I ask myself and this could be from if I'm having a conversation with a parent or if I'm reflecting on something that's happened in a session sometimes I want to think about okay, what could that child have been trying to communicate to me? Where is the breakdown happening, and so when I think of this, I tend to guide it within these kind of three big areas. Is it the task itself? Was there something within the activity that we were doing that was either too challenging, too frustrating, too easy, and so therefore the child got bored? Was there something within the way we set it up that required too much of a cognitive load so that child then didn't want to engage, found it frustrating, found it too hard, couldn't persist for that second attempt, and therefore we saw the behavior.
Speaker 1:So I think about the task, the physical activity I think about. Is it something within the environment? And this is where we think about that physical environment, that sensory environment. Was it really noisy? Were there lots of? And the social environment as well? So, was it really noisy? Were there lots of? And the social environment as well? So, was it really noisy? Were there lots of peers around? Was everyone trying to get their attention? Was it too hard to focus? So their brain was too busy processing all this other that it couldn't actually focus on the task. And let's say, in the classroom, is the teacher you're sitting there being like come on, we've got to finish, let's go, let's go, let's go and we're adding extra pressure, but this child hasn't started because they just can't think, because there's just so much else going on.
Speaker 1:So is there something within the environment that is a mismatch that's then impacting upon this child's ability to engage in whatever the activity is? What have I missed? So the other question that I always ask myself and this is typically after this is not in the moment, because in the moment it can be really stressful and it can be really tough when we see our little ones that are really upset and unable to tell us but we want to think about well, what have I missed? What could I have noticed? Were there things in the lead up that told me they were finding this tricky? Was there something in the way their body language changed? Did they have capacity to ask for help or did they try to ask for help? And we start to unpack that sort of side of what could we have noticed as the adults, as playing detectives? And then the other thing that I always tend to think about is is there a mismatch between the problem solving and the persistent skills required for this task and that which the child is able to engage with at that age, because a lot of our behavior can come from.
Speaker 1:Something's happened. I don't know what to do. I had a try, it didn't work, and now I don't know what to do next and I'm stuck. And when I'm stuck, I don't know what to do next and I'm stuck. And when I'm stuck, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't feel safe in my body, I don't feel comfortable. This is a really uncomfy feeling and I just need help. But I don't know how to get that help as all of a sudden I'm screaming and I'm crying and I'm pulling at your hair and I'm grabbing at your shirt and I just need help because I can't quite figure it out for myself.
Speaker 1:And if we can catch it early, fantastic, we can problem solve that and figure it out together and calm down together. If we don't catch it early, then we can get that child can get more stressed and more stressed and more upset, and then we need to calm first. And so when we think about this, if we think about this in relation to a situation so let's say, shoes and socks, time and we're trying to get out the door, and I'm going to talk through an example, and then I'm going to talk through ways that we can preemptively try and think about it and then some strategies that we can look at doing in the moment as well. So let's say it's shoes and socks time and in this family there's, let's say, it's dad's turn and there's two kids and it's dad's turn to do the drop-off for school, and we've got a kid who's in year three and a kid who's in reception kindergarten, depending upon if you're in the US, in the UK or Australia. So let's say it's a really busy morning.
Speaker 1:Everyone's in a bit of a rush. The year three, really good, crapping all of our stuff, getting organized, getting out the door. Little kitty in kindergarten finding it a little bit hard this morning finally Finally got their clothes on, got some food in, grumping down and poor dad is frantic at this point because he's looking at his watch and he's going. We've got about two minutes to get out of the house to be able to get to drop off on time so we can sit in traffic to get to work. So it's time to rush and he's gone. Right.
Speaker 1:I need to do pack lunches. I need to put them in the bags. I need to make sure they've got everything they need in their bags. I need to grab the keys, grab my stuff for work and get out the door, get the kids in the car, get to school. So he said right off you go, kids, put your shoes and socks on. I'm going to grab everything that we need and then we'll go floated in and out a couple times. They're still not putting their shoes and socks on. Come on, guys, shoes and socks, let's go, let's go, let's go, gotta go and grab something else.
Speaker 1:Goes and grabs that packs a school lunches, comes back, walks past three year, three kid they've got their shoes on. Great, can you go and get your stuff for show and tell, please? You come on shoes on, shoes on, shoes on. They're trying, little kid and kiddies trying. It's not quite working, but they're trying. And it's really slow, really slow, but they're trying. So dad's like okay, I'm going to go grab the car keys and then we're going to go and we're going to have to get in the car. By the time the dad comes back, shoes and socks still aren't on for our little kindergartner. And so dad goes it's okay, I'll just do it Whips them on, chucks the shoes on and all of a sudden the tears start and we're really upset and we're verging on a meltdown and we're getting really frustrated and the dad doesn't know what's happened or why. He's checking them over, are you okay? Yep, you're fine, you're fine. Okay, come on, let's just get in the car. So we go and strap in the car. Year three kids got in, got themselves clipped in happy days, but our little kindergarteners found that really, really tough and all of a sudden they're screaming and yelling and crying and inconsolable.
Speaker 1:Now, why might this have happened? And, truthfully, there are lots of reasons and this is a little made up scenario just so we can start to reflect and think about what some of those things could be. So if we go through that sort of bigger picture questions that I ask myself, what about the environment? Well, in this case, the environment was quite peaceful up until we started rushing, because it was an element of dad needing to, looking at the time and knowing we needed to go, and so maybe getting a little bit stressed and from that co-regulation stuff that we talked about last week, unfortunately, we know that that does then start to impact our kids a little bit. They will be picking up on that and we're rushing a little bit to grab everything, to get out the door and go. And I'm not saying don't rush. There are times when we need to rush, but it's just something to consider when we look at why this might have happened. So otherwise, the environment was pretty cool. It was a nice, predictable environment. It wasn't too, but it's just something to consider when we look at why this might have happened. So otherwise, the environment was pretty cool. It was a nice, predictable environment. It wasn't too noisy that morning. Everything else was going okay, alright.
Speaker 1:What about the task itself? Well, for the kid in year three, the task itself was perfect. Okay, it was easy. They knew how to put their shoes and socks on. They could do them all by themselves. They could feel accomplished that. They did them by themselves and they could then help to do the next task. In fact, we could almost argue that they probably could have a little bit more complexity and start to do some two-step instructions Maybe.
Speaker 1:But for our little kindergartner or our little kid in reception, it was a challenging task to do. They're still learning how to put their shoes and socks on for this particular kid, but they were very intrinsically motivated to do it. Dad, could leave the room, come back. They were trying. Could leave the room again come back. They were still trying. It's a long time for a kid to sit there and keep trying. It's something they weren't being instantly successful in and their sister had just gotten off, but it was tricky. They'd just gotten off and done it, so she was off the step, but it was tricky. But they were still focused on doing it, so it wasn't too challenging, but the focus was very much there. And then what happened? Dad came in and went, I'll just do it for you, trying to be helpful.
Speaker 1:But all of that kid's focus is then broken All of a sudden, their sense of achievement, of doing it themselves, gone, and that would be frustrating for anyone. Can you imagine if you were at work doing a report and you're sitting there but you think you've figured it out, you've got a bit of a plan, and then all of a sudden your boss walks over, grabs your keyboard and says oh, but this is how we're going to do it and it was completely different to the way that you planned to do it. You didn't get any say or any control and all of a sudden it was done. I would be pissed. That's not really acceptable in the workplace for a lot of reasons, but we think about that autonomy and that sense of independence. And all of a sudden, this kid that was really focused on trying to do it themselves can't. And then all of a sudden, whilst their brain was still catching up and processing what had happened and starting to get a little bit upset, we're picked up and we're in the car and by that point I can't think anymore. It's too much, my brain's gone, I'm just upset and by that point probably don't even know why I'm upset anymore. And then we can think about what were they trying to communicate when that initial bit where they were getting upset, they're trying to communicate that they wanted to do it themselves. And this is just one example. Guys, there could be many reasons for something like this, and so see how, once we start to break it down and chunk it down, we can start to figure out okay, well, what was the reason for that?
Speaker 1:Another example in a play situation I was doing a session with a kid a couple weeks ago now and it was great. We were lining up toys and then getting a different group of toys and lining up those animals, and then we got some blocks and we started building a block tower and that was fantastic fun. We both really liked that. And we got a tower of three. And then I made it wobble a little bit so it fell down and I could see his body tensed and it was a little bit tricky. But I went it's all right, we'll build it again. And I fixed it straight away. So I made that problem and showed that it was okay and we can keep going. Think back to that co-regulation bit. I created a bit of a problem, fixed it, solved it. Let's go again, modeling that persistence.
Speaker 1:Then we decided that what would be really fun is if he could carry this blocks, this tower of blocks, but by this point it was five blocks and that is a lot to balance and manage the balance and try and carry it. And sure enough, on our first attempt it fell over and he got really upset. We were crying and stomping and it was really frustrating. And then we built the tower again and then we tried to carry it again and he even went slower this time and it still fell and that was really frustrating again and we had the crying and we had the stomping and then we tried to kick the blocks across the room because it was just too hard. And then later in the session he did it again. We built the blocks, tried to carry them and it didn't work and by that point it was too much, and then we got a really big emotion, but eventually we helped calm down, we built our blocks together and we did it together so we had that final success.
Speaker 1:Now, in this situation, it was the task. The task was the breakdown. It was challenging and it was a great challenge, but it was just tricky enough that it was really frustrating. Now I would say, from a therapeutic perspective, this is great, because I was there and I was able to help him through it and we could problem solve and we could try again and we could come back and he was really motivated to do it. So we could tweak it a little bit and try again.
Speaker 1:But at no point did I pack them away, no point was it. Oh, they're too tricky, oh, it's too hard. This is where we can use our co-regulation skills and we can help persist through that challenge. We can acknowledge that it's really frustrating. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did something along the lines of oh no, they fell down. Oh, oh, that's really, really annoying, and I'd use my voice and I'd use my facial expressions to show that I was really annoyed too, and then I'd go it's okay, let's try it again, come on, bring them back, let's go. And we'd build it up again, and then it would crash again and maybe I'd be a little bit silly and a little bit playful, maybe I'd even model carrying them and them falling. So then I could model that frustration.
Speaker 1:So in both of those examples that I just talked through, you can see how we want to break down. Okay. So yes, I see this behavior is happening, but can we be curious, can we be inquisitive as to why? What is this child trying to tell me? What is it that this child needs? Could it be that they're just hungry? Could it be that they're sleepy? Could it be that they've just had a really, really big day and they're just over it and they just need comfort and cuddles and they cognitively from a cognitive low perspective cannot take on any more that day? So there's all those biological features as well that we need to consider.
Speaker 1:So what do we do with all this information? That's all well and good to be able to go okay, well, we can play detective, we can that. But what do you want me to do with that information, and I want you to think about this from kind of two perspectives, because what we do depends upon when we can catch the frustration, or when we can catch the behaviour and how intensely the child might be feeling that emotion or that frustration or whatever it is that they're trying to communicate to us. For example, if we figure out that they're hungry, well, we're going to feed them. If we figure out that they're really tired, we're probably going to do a nice chill activity or it might be time for a nap. But if it's a moment where they're frustrated but still holding it together, or crying but still trying, we can give that time.
Speaker 1:We can help them calm down from some of our co-regulation strategies that we were talking about last episode, and what we can do is we can then help them figure out how to tell us what it is and when I say tell us, I don't just mean verbally. It could be that you make an educated guess and they nod. It could be that they gesture and point. It could be that they guide your hand for help to what they need help with doing. There's so many different ways your child can communicate with you, or a kid in your class can communicate with you, but we're not just saying they need to tell us. They may not be able to tell us, but they have other ways of showing us and communicating with us what it is that they need help with. And when we get to that point, well then we can solve it together and we can figure it out together.
Speaker 1:Now, when we look at this as well, if we're catching it later and this child is not thinking anymore and they're just inconsolable upset, well, as we said last episode, in that co-regulation the one before about what is regulation we flipped our lid. We're not thinking anymore, and if we're not thinking, then we can't access any sort of problem solving. And if we're not thinking, then we can't access any sort of problem solving. And if I can't access any sort of problem solving, thinking, I'm just feeling. And so what we need to do first is we need to validate that feeling and help calm down. And we can validate that feeling in so many different ways. We can say I can see, I can see you're upset, it's okay, let's have a cuddle. Or I can see you're really angry. Or I can see your fists are really tight.
Speaker 1:Some kids don't like being told what they're feeling, but we can label what we see in other ways. I can see our fists are really tight. Some kids don't like being told what they're feeling. But we can label what we see in other ways. I can see our stomping feet are out. Let's stomp together Because that was hard.
Speaker 1:And so we can stomp together and we can use that co-regulation and we can calm down first and do that kind of shared experiences of going through that big emotion, figuring out what that is and then calming down. And once we calm down, then we can come back to persisting through whatever the reason for that behavior was, or we can go through trying to figure out together. Maybe once we're calm, you can sit there and go oh my goodness, that was a really big feeling. Do you know what happened? Can you tell me? And if they don't know, you say, oh well, you were playing over here and I was watching and you got, you were building some blocks and it got a bit tricky. Did it get a bit tricky? And they might nod and go, yeah, and you can start to kind of make those educated guesses and help them guide to figure out what it was. And once we figure it out together. Well then, we can problem solve and we can fix it together.
Speaker 1:But the idea is making sure we're understanding what they're trying to communicate with us first, and knowing where we're catching it. Are we catching it at a point where it just needs a little bit of support to calm down and talk about it, or no? Goal number one, and maybe the only goal, is just calming down and helping through this big emotion. So, in terms of pre-planning and that more proactive approach that we can do, we can think about what are we using to manage some of these tricky activities? Things like how can I make the task more predictable? How can I make this a little bit easier? How can I make it so? It's going to be just the right challenge. It might be things like I will use timers so that we know when we're going to have to do a transition. It might be using now and next so that we know when we're going to have to do a transition. It might be using now and next so that, when their highly motivated and highly preferred activity is finishing, they know what they're going to next. It's not just I'm taking this really fun activity away and you have to occupy yourself. It's we're finishing this to go and do something else.
Speaker 1:It might be having plans together and these can be visual timetables. These can be drawn together or just spoken together. So a plan could be all right we're going to play together for half an hour and then it's going to be time for bath and then after bath we're going to come down for dinner and then it's bed. Or you might do it the other way in your family you might do dinner, then bath, then bed, whatever the activities are, telling your child what's happening so they can get themselves ready for it. Or breaking down back to our shoes and socks situation. It might be all right, dad's got to go and grab these couple of things. Can you sit there and your job is to put on two socks and then I'm going to come back and help with two shoes? Or you do one sock and one shoe and I'll come back and do the other sock and the other shoe and we're breaking it down. So it's really explicit as to which bits they get to do by themselves and which bits you're going to help with, just for time. And talking these bits through with your child as well and saying, hey, I know you can do this by yourself or I know you're really trying to do this by yourself, but you know what Mum or dad or teachers, we're going to help today because we need to get in the car so we're not late to school and taking those two seconds to explain to your child what is happening and why, so they have that deeper understanding of the world around them and can start to engage in. Oh, that's okay, all right, you can help, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Other things that we can look at doing is acknowledging that the activity is going to be tricky and that's okay. It might be homework time, or it might be drawing time or scribbling time and your child doesn't like doing their handwriting or they don't like drawing. So it might be that we make something really fun out of it and we get a paintbrush and we paint to do our letters or our numbers or whatever it is instead, but we're still going to say, if it's someone that's doing handwriting, for example, this is going to be tricky. Or maybe we're doing dressing and they're starting to learn how to put their tops on by themselves and they're getting it the wrong way around. Maybe we're doing dressing and they're starting to learn how to put their tops on by themselves and they're getting it the wrong way around. You might say it's going to be a little bit tricky, but I'm here and you can do this. We'll do it together, we'll figure it out together and then when they do it, wow, that was tricky. But look at you, you tried and you kept trying and you did it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, the simple act of acknowledging that something took a lot of hard work from them and that their brain was working really hard can be so validating and so helpful for them in understanding what is happening, to help prevent that behavior as well. So when we have that kind of big picture, look at behaviour and we see it as a form of communication, it gives us a deeper understanding of the why this might be occurring. And when we can look at that breakdown, we can think about it in terms of what are they trying to tell me? Where is the breakdown? Is it something within the task? Is it something within the social demands? Is it something within the environmental demands? Is it something within the environmental demands? Is it something within the sensory demands? Where is that mismatch? Which bit broke down? And therefore, how can we help and how can we support? Now there's lots of different times you're going to see behaviours Transitions are a big one. Different times you're going to see behaviours Transitions are a big one Challenging social activities where a kid might be feeling a little bit worried or a little bit anxious or a little bit unsure of what's going to be coming next or what to do, and so every time it's time to go to the park, you see this big behaviour and you can start to look at it and go OK, this is every time we're going to the park.
Speaker 1:Something in the trip to the park or the park itself is really tricky, and this is where we can start to script it. Okay, well, when we get to the park, what are we going to do? Do you want to play with your friends or do you want to stand and watch today? Okay, well, you know what we're going to play with your friends, and so this is how you can do it. You need to go up and what could you say? What could you play with? What could you say to play with? And we start to help them think through what's going to be tricky, so that they're not going in and going. This is all too much. My brain's getting out of control. They're going in and going oh, I've got a bit of a plan, I know what's happening and we can start to look at all these supports that we can put in place to help the child through whatever that challenge is. All right, guys, I'm going to wrap the episode up there. But my number one takeaway I think I've said it about 20 odd times already and I'm going to say it again All behavior is communication.
Speaker 1:And if that is the only thing you take away from today, take away that all behavior is communication. And it's our job as the adults in these children's lives to play detective, to think about what are they trying to tell me, what are they trying to show me? What are they trying to communicate with me about where this has gone wrong and therefore, how can I help? And we can either catch it early, help that initial calm down and solve it together. But if we flip that lid and we're not thinking anymore, this is not the time to reason. This is the time to calm down first, reflect later on what might have happened and then look at supports you might put in the next time. Don't try and do it all at once. Always you also need to make sure that you're checking in with yourself as well and if it's not the time and you don't have the emotional energy or the mental energy for it, calming down together and moving on to something different is totally acceptable as well, in fact encouraged, because, as we learnt in the last episode that co-regulation side you've got to be okay first so that you can help your child to be okay as well. But yes, big, big takeaway all behaviour from an OT perspective at least, all behavior is communication and this is where we can then look at what they're telling us and put those supports in place.
Speaker 1:All righty guys, that is it for me this week. Have a fantastic week. I hope you guys have the best day. It's about to say day, but then I don't actually know, when you guys listen to it, if it's day or nighttime or anything else. So what we're going to be chatting about next time just to give you guys a little bit as a teaser is we're going to look at how we can support our regulation through big emotions. So we touched on little bits of it today, but we're going to be diving a little bit deeper into how we can. What are some of those strategies to support regulation and support some of our kids to go through their regulation when they're having a big emotion. But more on that next time. Otherwise, guys, have a great week and we'll chat soon. Bye, thank you you.